Dear friends...

...iv known you for what 11 years now? lol and you have always been the loud one who never ran out of things to say and i love that about you :)

but i can tell by your writing that theres stuff going on inside that your hiding and not talking about and i no I'm not the best person to be giving this advice but it always helps to talk :)

your a good friend to many people and i know people come to you for help so don't let there problems drag you down as well ok?

p.s I'm always here to listen :)...

...I'm sorry i didn't realise i had drifted away but I'm back now! and i just want to say you an amazing friend! i don't no what i would do without you. your always there and i hope you no I'm always here for you to :)

as we found out today there is still alot of stuff we don't no about each other! and its killing me not knowing! so hurry up and tell me!! lol :)

i got to no you in year 8 and in the last 4 years or so iv gotten closer to you :) and i plan to stay close to you for years to come whether you like it or not! :)

p.s if he hurts MY amazing friend il kill him! ok?...

...were not as close now :( but were still friends so I'm happy :) your always the one with way to much energy! which is fantastic, i would love to have your energy!

sometimes i don't understand the things you do but i still love you :)

we have been friends for a few years now and had soo many good times and I'm sure there is plenty more to come :)

p.s we need to talk more :) i feel like I'm way behind in the goss lol...

...i haven't seen you in forever! its just not good enough.

we were like pretty much sisters when we were little :) it was great times, lots of memories that il have forever. your a fantastic friend who has heaps of energy and makes me laugh soo much! lol we don't see each other much but i always look forward to when we do :)

p.s we need to keep in touch more :)...

...so much for spending more time with me, i should have known it wasn't going to happen. we talked about it and said we would but i shouldn't have gotten my hopes up :(

i want to spend more time with you because i feel like I'm losing you and theres so much about you I'm missing out on.

p.s we need to have a big catch up!...

...your amazing! i don't no what i did to deserve you :) you just make my life so happy.

i have all these feelings for you that iv never felt before. and i cant wait to see what our future hold :) its going to be great.

i don't no what i would do without you right now because you are pretty much my life :)

p.s i love you!!...

...i don't like you being so far away that i cant talk or txt you! :(

but even though you are far away i still feel like iv grown closer to you through emails lol. i know now that i can tell you anything and you wont judge me for it :) and i thank you for that.

your a great friend and if it weren't for you i would probably still be stuck in that hole i dug myself.

i hope you no that you can tell me anything and il try my best to help just as you have done for me :)

p.s i miss you!...

...i still don't no where i stand with you? we don't talk or txt at all anymore :(

did i hurt you when i done it?

please can we talk! i hate being like this with you :( you were a good friend and i suppose it probably is my fault we have turned out like this so I'm determined to fix it :)

p.s please talk!...

so to all my friends in general, thanks for being such amazing, fantastic people!! I'm trying to return the favour :)

from your friend Holly ♥

xox

The comments

"you could do better"

i got that comment today and at first i thought nothing of it and just didn't worry about it.

but later on thinking about it i started to pick my thoughts apart, i started to worry about what other people thought, i started to think that looks counted.

for awhile you had me thinking these negative thoughts about my relationship and i started to believe them.

but luckily for me as soon as i saw him those thoughts disappeared and i didn't care what others thought or if he was 'hot' or not, all i cared about was that he is mine and I'm happy :)

why should i worry about other peoples opinions? why should what other people say change my thoughts?

they shouldn't!

i used to be a person that cared about what other people thought but now I'm living to please myself not others.

so I'm keeping my thoughts strong and no-one is going to make me believe 'i could do better' because i don't want 'better' I'm finally truly happy :)

and i plan to stay this way for as long as he will have me :)

xox

♥

School

I'm fully over it!

the bitchiness, the groups, the popular 'cool kids', and the talking behind my back.

its all happening and I'm sick of it!

i want to get out! but i have to stay :(

people say aw high school will be the best years of your life. haha whatever! i don't no what happened to you at high school but its pretty much torture for me!

i can honestly say that i hate it now.

the people that hold grudges and believe whatever they get told just annoy the crap out of me!

and the people that talk about something between themselves when really they need to get the truth from the person it actually concerns! instead of believing all the lies! and stretching the truth!

everyone is always so depressed and theres always so much crap going on! which just brings everyone down. why cant school be a happy place? why cant we bring people up at school rather than bringing them down with all the negative talk and crap going on!?

then theres all the relationships going on! aw don't get me started.

"hes with her" and "shes with him"

"no but she likes him" "but i like him"

"aw hes just leading me on"

i strongly dislike these conversations. i am so happy i have a bf out of school! i get to avoid all the pressure and judgements of everyone around me. i just get to be me when I'm with him :) and its great.

i have to say the only thing good about school that i can think of at the moment is 2 people! if it weren't for them school would be complete torture! and i would consider changing which i really don't want to do.

well that's my rant about school :)

i officially hate it!

but i have to live with it, sadly :(

my guardian angel ♥

I'm so happy i found you :)

your a dream come true and i never want to lose you!

i believe your the one iv been waiting for.

you came at a time i was down and you lifted me up that's why your my guardian angel and i love you!

Others may not understand us but that doesn't worry me because we have each other and I'm happy.

I'm so glad we met again at get smart! and got to no each other.

get smart was amazing! it really changed me and you to :)

the speakers talked to me and even better than that god talked to me! i was like wow! and it made me realise i need to change and that now i can forget all my regrets and things i don't want to remember and move on in a life with him and you always by my side :)

your amazing and i love you! (more than you do! lol)

xoxo

♥♥

are you happy for me?

i don't no anymore, you seem so distant and i cant tell whether what iv done has hurt you or not.
you can hate me or love me but at the moment i cant tell which you are feeling, and its hard not knowing where i stand with you. so could you make it obvious?
i know that you may see it as to soon for me to have done this but I'm happy and if i made you unhappy I'm truly sorry because that wasn't my intention.

you don't seem to impressed either, i don't no whether you are happy for me or not.
you think it was to quick and i cant explain why it happened like that. i no that your just caring but I'm really happy, I'm on a constant high and life is really good for me at the moment so you have no need to worry :)

im happy with life and nothing is going to bring me down!
xo

All i have to say is...

THANK YOU!!!!!

you have no idea how much you have helped :)

You cant live a positive life if you think negatively.

For once i am actually thinking positive but it feels like I'm the only person who is these days.
Whats with all the negativity in this society? has anyone ever got any thing positive to say?
because I'm sick of all the negative stuff, its just pulling me down when i just got up from my last fall.

but i suppose i cant really talk because i had my big down moment where everything i said and thought was negative and depressing so i guess the situations have just switched. So now i realise how much my down buzz could have brought you down and I'm sorry if it did.

yes life may be shit and everything can go wrong which may make you go into the major down buzz but at the end of the day shit just happens and we have to learn to move on, some people are not worth feeling depressed for.