The comments

"you could do better"

i got that comment today and at first i thought nothing of it and just didn't worry about it.

but later on thinking about it i started to pick my thoughts apart, i started to worry about what other people thought, i started to think that looks counted.

for awhile you had me thinking these negative thoughts about my relationship and i started to believe them.

but luckily for me as soon as i saw him those thoughts disappeared and i didn't care what others thought or if he was 'hot' or not, all i cared about was that he is mine and I'm happy :)

why should i worry about other peoples opinions? why should what other people say change my thoughts?

they shouldn't!

i used to be a person that cared about what other people thought but now I'm living to please myself not others.

so I'm keeping my thoughts strong and no-one is going to make me believe 'i could do better' because i don't want 'better' I'm finally truly happy :)

and i plan to stay this way for as long as he will have me :)

xox

♥

School

I'm fully over it!

the bitchiness, the groups, the popular 'cool kids', and the talking behind my back.

its all happening and I'm sick of it!

i want to get out! but i have to stay :(

people say aw high school will be the best years of your life. haha whatever! i don't no what happened to you at high school but its pretty much torture for me!

i can honestly say that i hate it now.

the people that hold grudges and believe whatever they get told just annoy the crap out of me!

and the people that talk about something between themselves when really they need to get the truth from the person it actually concerns! instead of believing all the lies! and stretching the truth!

everyone is always so depressed and theres always so much crap going on! which just brings everyone down. why cant school be a happy place? why cant we bring people up at school rather than bringing them down with all the negative talk and crap going on!?

then theres all the relationships going on! aw don't get me started.

"hes with her" and "shes with him"

"no but she likes him" "but i like him"

"aw hes just leading me on"

i strongly dislike these conversations. i am so happy i have a bf out of school! i get to avoid all the pressure and judgements of everyone around me. i just get to be me when I'm with him :) and its great.

i have to say the only thing good about school that i can think of at the moment is 2 people! if it weren't for them school would be complete torture! and i would consider changing which i really don't want to do.

well that's my rant about school :)

i officially hate it!

but i have to live with it, sadly :(

my guardian angel ♥

I'm so happy i found you :)

your a dream come true and i never want to lose you!

i believe your the one iv been waiting for.

you came at a time i was down and you lifted me up that's why your my guardian angel and i love you!

Others may not understand us but that doesn't worry me because we have each other and I'm happy.

I'm so glad we met again at get smart! and got to no each other.

get smart was amazing! it really changed me and you to :)

the speakers talked to me and even better than that god talked to me! i was like wow! and it made me realise i need to change and that now i can forget all my regrets and things i don't want to remember and move on in a life with him and you always by my side :)

your amazing and i love you! (more than you do! lol)

xoxo

♥♥

are you happy for me?

i don't no anymore, you seem so distant and i cant tell whether what iv done has hurt you or not.
you can hate me or love me but at the moment i cant tell which you are feeling, and its hard not knowing where i stand with you. so could you make it obvious?
i know that you may see it as to soon for me to have done this but I'm happy and if i made you unhappy I'm truly sorry because that wasn't my intention.

you don't seem to impressed either, i don't no whether you are happy for me or not.
you think it was to quick and i cant explain why it happened like that. i no that your just caring but I'm really happy, I'm on a constant high and life is really good for me at the moment so you have no need to worry :)

im happy with life and nothing is going to bring me down!
xo

All i have to say is...

THANK YOU!!!!!

you have no idea how much you have helped :)

You cant live a positive life if you think negatively.

For once i am actually thinking positive but it feels like I'm the only person who is these days.
Whats with all the negativity in this society? has anyone ever got any thing positive to say?
because I'm sick of all the negative stuff, its just pulling me down when i just got up from my last fall.

but i suppose i cant really talk because i had my big down moment where everything i said and thought was negative and depressing so i guess the situations have just switched. So now i realise how much my down buzz could have brought you down and I'm sorry if it did.

yes life may be shit and everything can go wrong which may make you go into the major down buzz but at the end of the day shit just happens and we have to learn to move on, some people are not worth feeling depressed for.

2 memories

i have these 2 memories going round and round in my head. i want them to stop so that i can move on but whatever i do they keep coming back. so i thought maybe writing them down will help, then hopefully i can move on.

This memory with him.
The conversations we had, i miss them.
we used to talk about everything and you made me feel so complete in myself.
but now that's gone, your gone.
we don't acknowledge each other any more and we rarely talk.
I'm trying to move on from those days and forget but our conversations keep coming up in my head making it hard.


This memory with you.
that night was perfect in my mind, just the two of us.
i thought that finally we had got the confidence, but i was wrong.
it wasn't long after this night that it all ended, and now we struggle to find the words to say when we see each other.
this night keeps going over and over in my head, the confidence we had and just the good memory.
i don't want to forget this memory but just for now i would like it to stop replaying in my mind so that maybe i can move on.


so can i move on now? from both these memories?